writethis

[part 6 - the voice of the consumer]

you know i pay taxes in this goddamn country and i'm sick of it all - i'm sick of having news fed to me in soundbytes on 30 minute rotation-gurgitations (stomach noises),

i'm sick of politicians

uh i don't know their names

but they uh do bad stuff i'm sure,

i'm gonna form a militia from the fellas down at the factory

and we're gonna do something about it i tell you,

something, yeah and it's not the beer talkin neither,

my beer gut ain't stoppin me from uh social change,

fred flintstone, ron jeremy, vanna white, oprah's harpo or not,

ferrari, miami vice, teen movies, porky's revenge, hot heads, high school fashion movies, toughguy hijinx, good cop bad cop, i'm serious

(this is beergut fatburger life)

(the next bit is pure arkansasian epiphany)

i love this fucking country!

except for them middle easterners and them faggots, dammit i have god-intended pork chops and my woman in that there kitchen cookin it up with mashed potatoes and corn on the side, gravy too, and a glass of milk o'course,

and i tell you i love US of A because even though you know we got the artsy fartsy pansies

my son in college, he got a pell grant, and he's running around reading them books o'his, that i don't know sagan or pagan and nietz or nets she and my son - he's a good boy, he ain't gay or nuthin, i mean he might run around with fags, like i mean i have black friends, but i tell you he's not gay, he's not, he didn't learn that shit in my house, no we uh, we,

we played football and well, it's my wife's fault, goddammit, and my son, readin and talkin about peace and love and well, it's alright i think, even that city jive, it's okay because he knows and they know and i know it's that government, gum'mit, they keep gettin richer and i owe another 13,000 dollars on this trailer, i'm happy here,

yeah, i got my world wrapped up here,

my 32" television, we got a good cable company 'round here, got oh about 78 channels, even HBO and Cinemax, and when i come in from work buddy all i want is

a beer in one hand remote control in the other

and my woman in that kitchen cookin me some food, and if the government just goes on along killin them evil middle easterners, towelheads, and keeps its greedy hands out of my neck of the woods we'll get along fine.

my son has had girlfriends. he ain't funny, that ain't nuthin he learned from me. i gotta piss. and i didn't forget about that militia. but maybe we'll wait until the summer heat cools a bit. barbecue me a vision baby!