Hello. I am one of the friendly editors and I write some of the introductions to the issues. An intro writer's job is to make appear the turd blossoms we editors have plucked look like a salad. It should be concise and suggestive to the reader that she is somehow enriching her life. It should be a gracious and efficient hostess and should never get in its own way by explaining its mechanics. If this was an intro I would have broken all those rules. But since I'm writing this as guidelines to our writers I decided to go for the cute little story.
You are going to write something and send it to us or, more likely, you've already written what you're going to send and you're going to pretend you just wrote it and hope the theme-fitting tweaks go unnoticed.
We are now paying our writers - except for the poets who might be the only good thing in the issue (i don't know) but the poet always gets screwed. They accept this as the blessing of their profession and we wouldn't want to deny them.
Theme issues are the only issues for which the authors get paid. They run every other month. But there is no reason why the nonthemed issues won't be just as good. Sometimes,if we don't publish your submission for the theme, we may ask to hold onto it for publication in a nonthemed issue for no remittance. We receive many submissions. To be chosen for a nonthemed issue is still an accomplishment.
At times we'll like certain elements or a feel of a piece but we really can't use it in its present form. In those cases we will communicate with you to suggest things either specific or strategic. If you haven't heard from us by the following issue (or the status in the submission manager hasn't changed from "received") it is possible your submission falls into this category.
Send us your nonthemed submissions. While you might not get a check, getting to know your editors is a good thing.
If all you ever get from us is the form rejection know that we suck.
What is a good fit for Write This?
Publications like to advise you to read a few issues before you submit to get an idea of the flavor. You can do that if you want but using that information in order to send us something entirely unlike the past issues is, on balance, probably a more effective strategy than trying to 'fit'. For instance, those of you who look at a few issues and decide we're cynical and bitter might be surprised to learn that I'm a sucker for children's stories - especially if written by a child. If you can write like a child I've just given you something valuable. If you write like an adult writing like a child you will receive the form rejection.
Things that are visually appealing enter with a bigger splash. If you can draw or illustrate or do comics that aren't boring you will get our attention. Maybe we will pay for art in the future. Send us things that will encourage us to do so.
Include a bio.
Let us know if your submission is intended for a theme.
By submitting you agree that we may email you announcements about pretend genius and its other entities/associations (write this, cafe' hopeless, new short stories/WH Prize). We will not pass your details to anyone outside of pretend genius, unless required to do so by law.
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Theme for the next issue?:
Write This editors