a pretend genius broadsuction
Just My Luck
Daniel S. Irwin

   Plunge the bayonet through the rib cage a couple times.  Do it right and
your enemy just slumps down to your feet.  Messy though.  In the movies,
it's just jab, jab and pull out a clean blade.  For real, blood spurts all
over.  The handle feels like you've got a handful of ketchup or jelly in
your hand along with the knife.
   Damn, you come back from emergency leave and find the bastards gave your
M-16 away.  All you end up with is a malfunctioning single-shot .45.  Shoot
it once and you have to practically dismantle the thing to get another round
loaded.  Still, like a fool, you roll into a trench in the middle of the
night and run down the line fighting...hence the bayonet strikes.  It wasn't
a matter of planned stealthful killing.  The hand to hand fighting was a
necessity for lack of a 'shootin' iron'.
   I was happy as a kid with a new bicycle, or a punk gettin' his first
piece of ass, when I got my hands on an enemy AK...at last, I can put more
than one chunk of lead downrange.  The AK-47 and AK-74 are known for their
unique sound when fired.  So, just my luck, tonight, in the darkness,
everybody wants to shoot at me.

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we are so great
vol. iii, issue iv
our dates are still effed up,
but we can sit down