some days are better than none
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volume 4, issue iii, 7.21.2009
"Goodnight, dear. And gooddreaming. You'll find me receptive to your dreams, your endless ribbon tie and pull, your static case of superstition. Eewww it's raining! Get up. Today they might have caught a glimpse. Tomorrow your skin is sallow but you write your memoirs as though you could place yourself inside. "
"I’d been learning the violin for three excruciating years. Hating every minute of it. But it’s not always easy to tell your parents such things. “Don’t be silly; you love it really,” would have been their response. I expressed my frustration by playing atrociously."
"Soon after my blue eyed trickster and his puzzle days were smoothed away, my house in the city needed spring cleaning then I got to the garden. The work felt good, and the place looked spruce too eventually. I washed all the bright green paintwork down. Then I noticed the three metre Phoenix Palm near my letterbox looked dangerous. Spikes on the leaves stabbed and hurt if someone brushed against them. I liked to get out there with a large kitchen knife and cut them off, when the palm fronds drooped too low and long."
"It was 1983 Bucharest. A time when our thoughts and actions were not our own. Though Spring was as beautiful as ever. The buds had begun their journey of transforming into petals. Some had already turned to brightly coloured flowers, attracting darting bees, and it was impossible to not be filled with joy. "
by the black fart as told to susan katz
"When The Black Fart was in first grade, Albert Lindstrom kept picking on him. Kept challenging him to fight. Every day he was addressed as "You Jew bastard," and every day, The Black Fart avoided fighting."
Introduction to Volume 4, Issue 3
Dean Strom released his first book nothing will save you with pretend genius press in 2004. He has decided that his long unawaited 2nd book will also have a title - albeit a different one - mean confession.
It will be released in August. This book will include a story called The City has a Face.
Catherine Edmunds fills us in on String Theory.
All I know about String Theory (or later M Theory) is that due to the finite size of strings, many of the divergences that occur for point-like particles can be avoided. The size of the string is very small, typically of the order of a few Planck lengths (1.6×10−35 m), so that on large scales string-like particles look like point particles. Different types of boundary conditions are possible. The simplest example is a bosonic string. In suitable coordinates, the equation of motion is simply a wave equation of the form. Here Xμ is the coordinate of the string-like particle in d-dimensional space-time (μ=0, 1,…, d−1), σ and τ denote an internal position and time variable parametrizing the string, and C is a constant.
But Catherine knows a good deal more.
Raewyn Alexander is well known in New Zealand. To protect her privacy she lives half in this world and half at a magical street corner on which it is always summer 1957 and she is the queen. This time around her story Palm Tree and the Real Estate Agent takes place in this world. Her dulcet incantations can also be heard in the irregulars section.
Cornelia Ramsey remembers legendary Romanian conductor Ioan Luchian Mihalea in The Swallow. Ioan (or John), murdered sixteen years ago, was long a person of interest to the secret police. John’s death made the front page of all the major tabloids, outlining explicitly his “subversive sexual orientation”. During those turbulent times in Romania, homosexuality was a crime, punishable by penal incarceration. After ten years in prison, the two men who were convicted of his murder were inexplicably released after they had been sentenced to life. Two videos of Mihalea and SONG can be seen in the irregulars.
Susan Katz scares me. I met her once on w49th street in New York and after plying me with vodka she whispered to me, “I like you. I’ll kill you last.” I’m mentioning this publicly in case I ever disappear. She has been kind enough to allow us to pick from The True Adventures of The Black Fart, A Memoir. I don’t approve of anything that includes the word fart so instead of selecting some of these we’re just publishing the whole damn thing.
upcoming themes: submit here
long live king ludd, the futurist! - issue 4.4
Opening Date: June 22nd
Closing Date: August 1st
Publication Date: August 21st
Summation: In the early 19th century, a group of British textile workers criticized the Industrial Revolution and the emerging relationship between man and technology, a relationship they felt put the technology before the man. On the other end of the Industrial Revolution, in the early 20th century, the Italian Futurists proclaimed their love for the new speed of the modern world. Finally, human technology had triumphed over nature, and they were proud of this triumph.
Today, as technological advancement progresses exponentially every day, humankind's relationship with the machines we build has grown even more complex. The ghosts of the Luddites and the Futurists live on; they have commingled, cohabited, and reproduced.
Write This represents this fusion but we ourselves cannot make sense of it. We need you! Send us your stories of the intricate, violent, beautiful, destructive and nasty relationship between man and machine. Send us your love songs and laments about those 21st machines.
ghost stories - issue 4.6
Opening Date: August 22nd
Closing Date: October 1st
Publication Date: October 21st
Summation: Filmmaker Jan Svankmajer stated, "Unless we again begin to tell fairy tales and ghost stories before going to sleep and recounting our dreams upon waking, nothing more is to be expected of our Western civilization."
Your mission is simple: the 21st century needs new ghost stories (we'll get to the fairy tales and dreams later). Abandon those stuffy Victorian mansions and tired blanket cliches. Our century needs new tales of haunting. Scare us. Make us scream in ways we've never screamed before.
the blasphemy issue - issue 4.8
Opening Date: October 22nd
Closing Date: December 1st
Publication Date: December 21st
Summation: You love God. You hate God. We won't judge. Come to us to with your devotions, your confessions, or your proclamations. Or come to us with your disdain, your warnings. Bring us your Goddesses and Nymphs. Jesuses. Or your Darwins. Your Hubbardwacks. Your when you're dead you're dead. We don't care. And join together, one and all, in what shall be a heartwarming dialogue of "Fuck God." "Fuck God? No. God is Great. Fuck you." We will choose fairly from the pro god and anti god camps. No agnostics please.
fuck this apocalypse - issue 4.10
Opening Date: December 22nd
Closing Date: February 1st
Publication Date: February 21st
Summation: Every generation thinks that they are living at the cusp of the apocalypse, and we are no different. But that apocalypse is so much more than the mundane end of the world. The word comes from a Greek word meaning the "unveiling" or "revelation." What could be sexier than an unveiling? What is fucking but a divine revelation? As Wikipedia (an always reliable source) states, the apocalypse might more accurately be thought of as, "the disclosure to certain privileged persons of something hidden from the majority of humankind." It is, thus, a revelation of the secret history or unspoken truth of the world, of existence, of the cosmos, or simply of humanity, or even more simply, of the naked human body.
We want to tell the story of the real apocalypse, the erotic apocalypse, and we want your help. Send us your stories of revelation, and hey, we wouldn't mind it if they happened to be apocalyptic in the more common, modern sense of the word as well. And remember, in honor of St. Valentine's Day, make it fucking hot!
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