There was a marathon on some cable television channel, I don't know which one, I get them all confused. Anyway, there was a marathon on, a monster movie marathon, and they were having a series of vampire movies on, all in a row. There was Nosferatu and Dracula and more recent movies, one that Francis Ford Coppola made, and I'm thinking, 'Francis Ford Coppola made a vampire movie! Man, he really did lose it after Apocalypse Now.' But I watch all of these, and I can't help but begin to think, I can't help but to begin to notice certain things. And you know what, there are essentially two ways people look at vampires. They fear them, obviously this is one way. They are monsters, horrible blood sucking fiends that go after virgins or women with big tits or just anyone they feel like. And they're practically unstoppable, you have to get all these fancy weapons, or some vampire specialist, and they go and hunt the evil bat-monster hell-deamon thing and kill it. And then the movie's over. And this is a happy ending. But then there are the movies that romanticize it. The vampire is the hero. He's tortured and gothic and sexy. Like that one movie with what's his face, the pretty-boy and the other pretty-boy and Kirsten Dunst before she was old enough for us to be allowed to think she's hot. They live horrible, tragic lives, and we should sympathize with them, but most of all, we should have wet dreams about them.
"Americans have become an ugly race. The women obese. It wasn't like this when I was young in the 1940s. Nor when I was still young in the 1970's. Fat girls were the exception in the 40s and 70s. Today the svelte one is. Now by the time a girl reaches adolescence and desires to be sexy and sport an exposed midriff it's already rolls she is flaunting. Her ass is, in the best cases, merely flabby. And plenty are gargantuan. And goddamn if they aren't ..."
"I'd like to stick something in the gap between her two front teeth. I suppose there's something inviting about an opening within an opening, another place behind another place, and yet..."I haven't always been a good girl", she says. "You'd be surprised by some of the stories I could tell you."
"I met a vampire, so of course I'm going to write a story about it, because it's not every day you meet a vampire. The reason for this, obviously, being that vampires don't come out during the day as they are afraid of light, or something like that. They burst into flames. Boo-hoo. Pity the vampire. Nonetheless, I met this vampire one night at the Adult Arcade, which is an arcade for adults. What images are brought to your filthy little head when I say this? You think the games are all pornographic? You think everyone is on the floor playing..."
"I don't know exactly when I suspected. Maybe it was the fact I had to work the second shift at the hospital and wondered why the office was deserted during the day. Or maybe it was the odd way Katie would look at me when I got a paper cut. But I think that somewhere..."
"There were no clouds in the sky so I could see all the stars. Except I live in a city and all the light pollution drowns out starlight. I think the night would look better with clouds instead of just blackness. The moon however is there, hanging low tonight and only showing half of his face. Wouldn't it be cool to only show half my face sometimes?
God this is dumb. I can't write this stupid vampire story. This is dumb. This is like some..."